I think my imagination is too vivid--leaning towards something detrimental. I tend to fathom the worst in a situation. Life's too good! I am being inanely paranoid, especially these days.
"When life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it", "Look on the bright side of things", "Life is what you make it". These and many phrases I can quote. But I certainly am not practicing what I preach. I freely hand out encouraging quotes to people who're in distress. But what happens when it's me? I freeze out. I blur out. I black out. I know not what to do, nor how to handle my own emotions.
This empty nest thing shouldn't be this bad. I should be able to cope with it and tone it down. Instead, I seem to be breaking down time and again. Some circumstances aren't even worth distressing about. Yet, off I go on my wondrous land of agony. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Subconsciously, do I feel that I don't deserve to be unconditionally happy? Who knows? Maybe I do feel this way but am oblivious to it.
The subconscious is a sneaky yet powerful thing. It lurks and it looms...and it awaits...sort of saying-- "Don't put your guard down, or else...". And down comes my guard. And the submerged emerges.
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